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every step you climb another mountain....
every breath its harder to believe.......

i'm on a roller coaster ride.
ups and downs.
why me?
this sucks.
i wondered.....
" there are so many religions in the world....how do i know that my God is real? and i realised. it takes faith to believe. God is real. and my life is a test. and i nearly failed."
i was thinking.
this person doesn't know that i feel uncomfortable around her due to drifting apart....
and i love her as a friend and maybe as a sworn.
well, yea, as a sworn.
and she means a lot to me.
but why must she let me down like that?
if you dont like someone, why care what they say about you?

would you care if i was that person? dao-ing you?
i guess not.
...

penknife
penknife
penknife.
oh how i miss you so.....
why did i even promise not to use you?....

why is my life like that?
NEVER EVER GET TOO CLOSE TO SOMEONE.
its risky.
...

today was open house cum track trials.
so fun fun fun!
saw shu yan and valerie!!!
and cherise and vivian and sheryl and rebecca and maya and magdalene :)
in no particular order

and i want to talk about my sworns in class today.
and i realised some interesting stuff that shu yan and i deduced

ok so,
let me list out my sworns.
in register no.
eleanor
isabel
valerie
melissa
mandy
sonia
shu yan

just check out those awesome people up there!!
<3
eleanor is just fun to TEASE and she SMILES a lot but her grasp sends me writhing on the floor.
isabel is just nice in her own way..hehe...TELEPATHY
valerie is nice. funny too
melissa is... kind and understanding and nice and nice and nice and nice and nice.
mandy is TALL. and funny
sonia is just trustable. nice to talk to too!!
shu yan is CUTE AND REALLY FUNNY AND REALLY BLUR. reminds me of FERB:D

i have nothing else to say partially cos i forgot what i intended to say
bb!
...

CSM
today was the CSM
and i am tired.
so i went over to the hwa chong track at around 7.05
and waited for the events to start.
i was nearly melting under the hot sun.
and sms ing certain people!!!!
so fun.
until it was time for the relay.
so i changed into my spikes and reported with the rest of the 110 team!!!<3 them
ME MELISSA YUET CHING NATALYA TRICIA AMY SHU YAN VALERIE.
:D
so yea, we went to our respective places and warmed up. kinda.
so i walked to the start line feeling kinda teeny weenie bit nervous.
so, it was soon the start of the race.
" BANG" and i started running.
i could practically feel the adrenaline rush
and the wind...i felt in control of it all.
until we reached the 50m mark
and i passed the baton to melissa.
ok....
i serioualy have no idea what happened but i fell.
on my right knee
gah.
but luckily, i passed the baton and melissa didnt fall :D
i love my jie.
and then......somehow i couldnt find the strength to stand up....
until a while later.
and i felt my knee burning.
and i realised that there was some blood.
so i wiped it off. quickly. disgustingly.
haha.
so i made my way to the finish line to congratulate VALERIE.
and from out of nowhere, li yi popped out and asked if i neededhelp.
and she sprayed water on my leg.
i nearly screamed, but THANK YOU!!! really, it helped :D
until i got dragged away by some person to the stand.
and then my knee started to hurt, a lot.
but, some people came over to help me, and i went to the st john's ambulance brigade.
and they took so long to but some cream stuff and the dressing.
and blahblah blah.

and then i went to KAP with some ppl!!!
and i'll talk bout it tomorrow. yawn!!!
see ya soon.
gosh. my knee is gonna hurt tomorrow.
and i have training
...

what in the world is wrong with you?
you just go around hurting other people's feelings.
i've been putting up with you for long enough already.
and i gave you chances.
and i observed your behaviour
you are just going around breaking the best of friends up.
I will never let you hurt me again. never.
i've been hurt enough.
i don't wanna go through the same thing again.

i'm doing this for my own good.
and for the sake of not getting hurt again.
...

when the going gets tough,
the tough eat chocolate.

its only funny until someone gets hurt....
..........then its HILARIOUS

haha. i like those.
you know what i realised?
i'm not a really forgiving person.
well, i DO give chances, i give 2.
and once you repeat your mistake for the third time,
1) you have to wait a LONG LONG LONG time to be forgiven, or
2) you'll never be forgiven.

so when i love someone, they better cherish it, because its hard to be loved by me.
and i dont love just anyone.
so, cherish your chances.
and i don't think i will forgive ______.
well, at least not anytime soon.
blame it on yourself...
you deserve it.

and and i didnt do really well, for block test :(
msg= 1.8 (same as isabel jie!!!)
we have telepathy.
trust me.

she look......like a duck. ( i had a major typo when i sms-ed that.
...

i'm in school posting now.
and i'm pissed.
tricia says hi
PPL WHO I'M NOT PISSED AT THINK I'M PISSED AT THEM
PPL WHO I'M PISSED AT THINK I'M NOT PISSED AT HER.
retarded:D
weird i tell you.
i feel sad.
i really regret my choice in accepting the offer by nanyang..
i should have just stayed in MGS and learn about philosophy in the SBC class....-.-
...

gah. today was 2.4 -.-
notfun cos the ground was wet and no one to pace with.
and then after many many lessons, it was training.
FUN i tell you.
we tried pole vault and javelin.
fun.
all the sprinters nd jumpers are like damn pro can??
and after training, there was this team bonding and tom yam noodles <3
delicious.
so, we had really major gossiping. <3 love it.
cherise was so despo for new gossip lorhh.
well, somehow, i feel tired.
i dont know if its emotional or physical...
perhaps its a mixture of both.
yea.
but i promised many people that i would not cut.
and i dont wanna anymore. its wrong.
...

once again i am at the computer lab.
you know what?
I HATE HER
I HATE HER
I HATE HER
I HATE HER
I HATE HER
I HATE HER
I HATE HER
I HATE HER
I HATE HER
most people should know who i'm talking about...
...

i am in the computer lab now with some random people.
this weird person in class doesn't knowb that she's pissing me off so badly.
hahas.
isabel and me ran in the rain for like...5 times for no reaon at all.
heavy rain i tell you.
there are supposed to be jumps later but given the heavy rain, i believe that it will be postponed.
:D
im scared.
there are so many other pro juers lorhh.
wish me luck!!!

you're still pissing me off.
get lost........loser.
...

once again i'm blogging from my dad's laptop.
and i'm bored
and i realised that it is mothers day
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MUMMY!!
i realised all this while, you scolded me because i deserved it.
thanks.
and i'm scard for tuesday.

1) long jump finals
2)math blocks may be out
3) chinese blocks should be out
4) i may not be able to control myself and punch that person
5) ICAS paper.


aww man.
im stressed.
let it go.......
i just cant.
why is it this way?
track is giving me unlimited problems.
some people here are just so cold....
why cant they be nicer?

my life is made miserable by you.
get lost...sore loser.
...

sheesh. i spilt a whole tub of yogurt on my laptop.
so i'm posting frommy dad's laptop.
80m finals.......4th....
longjump.......finals on tuesday!
EGAD!
oh no.
and myspiritshave been pulled down,
my confidence has been destroyed.
thanks to some person.
i shall not refer to you as my friend....no.
whats with the " i promisenever ever to hurt you again."
" i will change."
that is all a bunch of lies. some sorry CRAP.
you insult people without thinking before you speak.
you get jealous when your friend is closer to someone else.
and you try to break their friendships
like that will do you any good.
you made me punch the wall
and expletives were spewing from me.
don't expect me to forgive you this time.
get back to reality.
its not going to happen.
at leat i dont think it will.
go away if you hav nothing good to say.
do you think its so easy to win a competition?
i wont say anything if you can win a simple race, sprint.
show me. prove it. or just get lost.
count yourself lucky this post is not filled with f-words
you should know who you are.
and i nearly puched you during dance.
if you didn't know

go away, loser.
show me you can win. prove it.

my knee hurts because it has a protruding bone.
my head hurts cos haven't slept for a long time.
my fingers hurt cos i'mtyping like mad.
my knuckleshurt cos i punched the wall instead of you.
my heart hurts cos its filled with hatred
stress......can kill
...

wow. i have loads to post about.
there was this BBQ thing that magdalene invited the sprintenters and jumpers for.
so, i left the house at around 3.40 and reached like.....half an hour later.
they were playing captain's ball when i reached so i joined in.
well, at first, i was busy sms-ing someone.
and we outnumbered the other team... but we lost horribly
it was kinda like NY trackers in one team.
so yea.........
and after a while, we played DODGEBALL!!!
and i was so extremely (x1083797632564826) scared of jannah :D
cos she's tall and fast. very fast.
so... i was the loneranger...-.- sounds like DESIREE!!!
and ms tan arrived!!! EEEEK
' good afternoon ms tan ' all the trackers said......
and continued playing.
and and and when we stopped for a water break, i had to test out the drink and rate it -.-'''
yea, so we were thinking, JELLYFISH + GUINEA PIG = JELLYPIG!!!
hehe. that was dumb.
so we played and played.
until dinner.....
we all sat at a table to eat.
and listened to SOMEONE'S jokes......
lols
and all of a sudden i saw something funny and started laughing...
it was because there was a group of old people beside us talking and laughing away...
heehehehehee
it was funny i tell you.
and well, as the next day was MAYA'S b'dae, they brought out a cake:D
and she cut it. horribly
one mistake and the cake would have fallen SPLAT on the floor.
after eating the cake, we played LAO YING ZHUO XIAO JI
so fun!!!
as we were running around like retards, i crashed into the tree -.-'''
and then magdalene started laughing crazily.
one of the first times a see her laugh so hard....:D
and and CHERISE was trying to learn how to suaveboard...-.-'''
and as usual, she had a lot of crashes.....and unsuccessful attempts.
and surprisingly, she did not die and mastered the basic art of suaveboarding
ok....im hungry....
i'll post more tomorrow
...

i came back from church today and i started to reflect on my behaviour.
i feel that i have let people down, especially God and myself.

as i see the blood trickle down, i feel remorseful
i shouldn't have done that
i really shouldn't
but what else can i do?
the blood flows out, and in it, lies my past mistakes and sadness.
but does it really work?

i am really sorry God.
You gave me this life, and i will live it well

and i let myself down.
i could have shown some determination in living my life to the fullest.
people around me told me not to, but i still succumbed to the temptation.
i threw the penknife away.
and i don't want to go back to my old ways.
...